The Boy

As I've stated before, this is a topic I don't want to press too much on, because it's a bit unsettling. But, I feel it might be best to let everyone see a bit more into what I'm going through.

The Boy is someone I've dated off and on since high school. And he's intimidated me into staying. I'm not proud of it in the slightest. The last time I broke things off with The Boy, he supposedly tried to commit suicide, and I hate hurting people, even if by not hurting them, I hurt myself. I've wanted to leave again for coming up on two years now, but I've never had the drive or the push to. I know I'm not treated well, yet I've never had the drive to get away.

A bit of history on the Boy and the reasons I need out... Well, he's a liar. He'll say anything to make people think he's more than he is. Whether it be lying about his job to make it seem more important, or lying about aspects of his life (even to me. He still is lying about the time before I met him, and he doesn't know I know) He also settles. Once he's comfortable in his little rung of the latter, he doesn't try to better himself at all. We've lived in this apartment for three years (He only moved in after his mother kicked him out, and he sunk his claws in) and I've stated I want to move, but when I mention it, he makes it seem like I'm a bad person for wanting to do so.

He never keeps a promise, and I mean -never- Years ago, he promised that we would do something simple... go to the zoo... six years later, I'm still waiting. He promised a trip out of country, he promised me a dinner for my birthday, he promised me he'd take me to the theatre... Please forgive me if this sounds selfish, but, I like it when someone keeps a promise. I've got no freedoms, and he gets mad when I do things without him. Whether it be going to visit family, or watching an episode ahead on a TV show. He watches the bank account with an eagle eye, and questions anything and everything I buy.

The one thing that annoys me above all else... he cheapens words. I counted how many times he said 'I love you' in one day... and it was well over 250. The more you say it, the more it loses meaning. I'm convinced that, in all actuality, he dosen't love me, but is too afraid to admit it. He defines himself by who he is with, and has no real idea of who he is.

Also, all of my family hates him. Most of my friends despise him, and they hate how he treats me.

I've been putting up with this for years, hell, these are the same reasons I left him the first time. Back at square one, and yet I still didn't have the drive to leave.

Until Master came along again.

Within the past few weeks, I've started packing. All of my books are packed, and some of my clothing. The boy has his head stuck so far up his ass he hasn't noticed yet.

My mother is telling me that once I come back from the family trip for my brother's graduation, that I should leave then. I'm seriously considering it.

The plan was to leave in August when the lease on the apartment was up, but with all of this building up inside, I feel as though I'm about to explode. Which, might be a good thing.

~Angel