As my beloved master stated. Yesterday was indeed my birthday, and I celebrated by attending one of those escapes from reality I mentioned. Indeed, the boy was in attendance, so it did try the self control of both my master and myself. But we did have the chance to sneak away together for a few shared moments, which we were both very grateful of.
Personally, I think we did quite well.
At the moment, I will admit I am more than just a little out of it, due to some painkillers I've taken, so I will post once I have a more coherent train of thought.
~Angel
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Friday, April 9, 2010
The First Night
The night things became 'official' I suppose you could say, was an interesting one. Both my Master and I were aware of each others personalities, having had been friends for so long, and we had just started seeing each other on a more personal level. I do think, however, this was not too long after that first time. It was a Saturday, one of the nights of the weekly reality escape, only this one was on a much larger scale, bringing people from across the United States. After wards, a group of us went out to eat, just talking, laughing, and joking together, a really fun time.
One of our number decided that we should go hang out with another group, and that led us to a hotel room in an upscale part of downtown, where a submissive was being re-introduced to her Dom. Cat and mouse. This was my first REAL introduction to the lifestyle. Even when Cat was using a riding crop to discipline mouse, he still took great care of her, asking if she was okay when she faltered, and cradling her afterwards. It was then I realized I was sitting next to my master. He smirked at me, that smile that I can't resist, and told me to sit in the tower position. (or Seiza, as I had known it due to my previous history with the Japanese culture) That night was a crash-course for me. Some things I was able to pick up on easily, others, I had to be taught. The night ended after mouse and myself were both tied to a railing, and were in turn disciplined with riding crops and floggers.
Needless to say, when I went to work the day after, people were questioning where the bruises came from. I just smiled, and let that answer their question.
One of our number decided that we should go hang out with another group, and that led us to a hotel room in an upscale part of downtown, where a submissive was being re-introduced to her Dom. Cat and mouse. This was my first REAL introduction to the lifestyle. Even when Cat was using a riding crop to discipline mouse, he still took great care of her, asking if she was okay when she faltered, and cradling her afterwards. It was then I realized I was sitting next to my master. He smirked at me, that smile that I can't resist, and told me to sit in the tower position. (or Seiza, as I had known it due to my previous history with the Japanese culture) That night was a crash-course for me. Some things I was able to pick up on easily, others, I had to be taught. The night ended after mouse and myself were both tied to a railing, and were in turn disciplined with riding crops and floggers.
Needless to say, when I went to work the day after, people were questioning where the bruises came from. I just smiled, and let that answer their question.
Earliest Moments
Even now when I think back on when my Master and I first met, the strongest memories I have are of him standing over me.
I was in High School at the time, the nerdy girl who never paid attention in class, and was always considered an outcast from the popular few. Stupid, idealistic, a bit of a rebel in my own right. I will admit, I was a contradiction onto myself. Whereas I was rebellious, I was still quiet, and shy around people I didn't know. It was during these times that I found sanity in a weekly escape from reality, and it was there that I met my Master. It was an instant crush. The first real conversation we had, I was blushing so badly, I couldn't look at him. He was flawless, absolutely gorgeous. At that point, I was sitting on the ground, and he was kneeling beside me (As I said, the strongest memories are of him in the dominant position.)
It was just after I found out how deeply I wanted to know more about this man, that he had to leave. We did stay in constant contact, and he visited when he could (Once having to suffer the consequences for not returning on time... The hardest two months I've ever known)
Eventually, I fell off the map after I finished high school, and made a mistake of letting myself become trapped. When my Master and I found each other again, I was in for more heartache, as he had a woman who had claimed him. I know I cried on more than one occasion over this, but I never let anyone see my tears.
Even though we were honest at the time, she was a jealous woman, who didn't care for him to spend any time around me at all, and the two of us never got along. The air between us was always heavy with mistrust and envy, sometimes, on her part, hatred. One of my jobs was a photographer, and I still think she had me do their portraits out of spite. That was another time I didn't let anyone see me cry. We had many long conversations during this point. I was starting to realize how unhappy I was with the Boy (Someone I had been with since High School. I don't wish to talk about him much, but I might later) and he was starting to see some cracks in the woman's mask.
I told him then of my greatest fears... being alone and forgotten. It was this moment, that he said something that has been forever engraved into my memory.
"Forgetting you, would be like forgetting the moon."
We fell out of contact yet again, but that didn't last long. Back in the days that we were miles apart, we made a promise that, should both of us be single at the same time, we would sleep together. In all honestly, who doesn't make promises like that? Once we found each other again, the promise came to be a reality, as the woman had left him, and I had left the boy. All those years of sidelong glances from across the room, silent messages, and unspoken words, were brought to a grand climax (no pun intended) that night.
It was during this time that we decided to make it official. He was my Dom, and I was his sub. The most beautiful relationship I have ever known. I cared for and served him, and he cared for and protected me. Unfortunately, yet again, we fell out of touch after a while, which was my fault indeed. After a year or so, my low self-esteem got the better of me and the Boy waltzed his way back into my life, trapping me yet again. No, that was not my brightest moment
It took some fighting with the Boy for me to resume my weekly escape from reality, where I yet again found my Master. We've never been a pair that you could keep apart, and it is useless for us to resist. The bond between us cannot be ignored. As simple as that.
I am determined to leave the Boy again, for my own good. I hate being trapped where I don't want to be trapped, and it's not healthy. My Master has yet again taken up his position of caring for me, and protecting me. For the moment, it is secret, hense the name of our blogs. But it is a beautiful secret, one that I cherish and hold dear. I love my Master with all of my heart. I have to strive to be the best girl I can be, for the both of us.
Please note that I will expand upon different parts and memories in turn. Today, I just wanted to get this all out there, so you can see the places where we have been over the years. Hopefully, within lies a hint of where we are going to as well.
~Angel
I was in High School at the time, the nerdy girl who never paid attention in class, and was always considered an outcast from the popular few. Stupid, idealistic, a bit of a rebel in my own right. I will admit, I was a contradiction onto myself. Whereas I was rebellious, I was still quiet, and shy around people I didn't know. It was during these times that I found sanity in a weekly escape from reality, and it was there that I met my Master. It was an instant crush. The first real conversation we had, I was blushing so badly, I couldn't look at him. He was flawless, absolutely gorgeous. At that point, I was sitting on the ground, and he was kneeling beside me (As I said, the strongest memories are of him in the dominant position.)
It was just after I found out how deeply I wanted to know more about this man, that he had to leave. We did stay in constant contact, and he visited when he could (Once having to suffer the consequences for not returning on time... The hardest two months I've ever known)
Eventually, I fell off the map after I finished high school, and made a mistake of letting myself become trapped. When my Master and I found each other again, I was in for more heartache, as he had a woman who had claimed him. I know I cried on more than one occasion over this, but I never let anyone see my tears.
Even though we were honest at the time, she was a jealous woman, who didn't care for him to spend any time around me at all, and the two of us never got along. The air between us was always heavy with mistrust and envy, sometimes, on her part, hatred. One of my jobs was a photographer, and I still think she had me do their portraits out of spite. That was another time I didn't let anyone see me cry. We had many long conversations during this point. I was starting to realize how unhappy I was with the Boy (Someone I had been with since High School. I don't wish to talk about him much, but I might later) and he was starting to see some cracks in the woman's mask.
I told him then of my greatest fears... being alone and forgotten. It was this moment, that he said something that has been forever engraved into my memory.
"Forgetting you, would be like forgetting the moon."
We fell out of contact yet again, but that didn't last long. Back in the days that we were miles apart, we made a promise that, should both of us be single at the same time, we would sleep together. In all honestly, who doesn't make promises like that? Once we found each other again, the promise came to be a reality, as the woman had left him, and I had left the boy. All those years of sidelong glances from across the room, silent messages, and unspoken words, were brought to a grand climax (no pun intended) that night.
It was during this time that we decided to make it official. He was my Dom, and I was his sub. The most beautiful relationship I have ever known. I cared for and served him, and he cared for and protected me. Unfortunately, yet again, we fell out of touch after a while, which was my fault indeed. After a year or so, my low self-esteem got the better of me and the Boy waltzed his way back into my life, trapping me yet again. No, that was not my brightest moment
It took some fighting with the Boy for me to resume my weekly escape from reality, where I yet again found my Master. We've never been a pair that you could keep apart, and it is useless for us to resist. The bond between us cannot be ignored. As simple as that.
I am determined to leave the Boy again, for my own good. I hate being trapped where I don't want to be trapped, and it's not healthy. My Master has yet again taken up his position of caring for me, and protecting me. For the moment, it is secret, hense the name of our blogs. But it is a beautiful secret, one that I cherish and hold dear. I love my Master with all of my heart. I have to strive to be the best girl I can be, for the both of us.
Please note that I will expand upon different parts and memories in turn. Today, I just wanted to get this all out there, so you can see the places where we have been over the years. Hopefully, within lies a hint of where we are going to as well.
~Angel
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